By Sergey 
Modern relationships have become complex, thanks to the ease of connecting with others via online communities or social media. One in ten adults has met their partner through a dating site. So, with a changing landscape, the rules around dating have also changed. This further begs the question of whether flirting is cheating. So, let’s find out!
9 Reasons Why Flirting Is Cheating
In my experience, it’s paramount to lay down rules and boundaries around what makes a relationship meaningful for both. This helps avoid any confusion around expectations for both partners in the long run. However, the topic of flirting is seldom discussed among couples. Is flirting cheating? Let’s find out.
Emotional Infidelity
The initial stages of flirting involve harmless banter and sharing lighthearted moments with somebody other than your partner. It begins with spending time with that person and soon, you’ve formed an emotional bond with them. But is flirting with someone cheating? It could be. Flirting can plant the seed for future betrayals. Deriving joy in someone’s company could be the seed that could lead to emotional infidelity in the future.
It Involves Deception and Secrecy
Flirting often happens in secrecy. Half the excitement of flirting comes from the fact that people do it in secret. This continued secrecy begets more secrets and causes great distress and confusion in your partner’s life. Repeatedly letting down our partners could lead to them losing trust in us altogether.
Attraction Indication
Every relationship starts with a mutual attraction for each other. When we engage in flirting, be it casual or serious, it’s usually meant to impress the other person. No matter whether we’re driven by a need to feel wanted, seen, or powerful, we engage in conversations with sensual undertones. This is unfair to our partners and can threaten the longevity of our relationships.
Escalation of a Full-Fledged Betrayal
People usually form a relationship on terms that seem pretty harmless, but when does flirting cross the line? As more time passes, we begin feeling a stronger emotional connection with them. We start sharing more of our inner thoughts and feelings to feel validated. These tiny acts of emotional intimacy can pave the way for a full-blown betrayal.
Jealousy and Insecurity
Is flirting considered cheating? The answer to the question can be spotted in your partner’s reaction when you show flirtatious tendencies. When you pay extra attention to others in front of our partners, they naturally feel neglected and sidelined. This gives rise to feelings of insecurity and helplessness which if not addressed in time can ultimately turn into jealousy.
Comparison Trap
One of the pitfalls of flirting is you end up comparing your new-found feelings of thrill and excitement with your ‘boring and dull’ relationships. Everything seems rosier in contrast to your existing relationship and by extension, your partner. This is unfair to them and may strain the relationship with damaging effects.
Reduces the Emotional Connection
People create a rift in the relationship by flirting and directing our intimate thoughts outside the relationship. A lack of proper communication and sharing of true feelings leads to frequent misunderstandings. This further threatens the foundation of trust and belonging you feel for your partner and vice versa.
Reduces Trust
Is flirting a form of cheating? This could be answered based on the effects it has on relationships. Flirting with others in front or behind our partners disrespects their love and dedication towards us. As a result, our partners lose confidence in themselves, communicate less, feel detached, and in severe cases, start to grow suspicious of us. These are all signs of loss of trust in the relationship.
It Violates Relationship Agreements
Relationships are built around unsaid rules of respect and consideration for each other. Being in a committed, close relationship entails being exclusive, and respecting their boundaries regarding our interaction with others. When you casually flirt or let others flirt with you crossing set boundaries, it indirectly violates the agreements in a committed relationship.
7 Ways Flirting in a Relationship Can Be Harmful
Flirting can be harmful to the relationship in more ways than one. According to a study, flirtatious behavior predicts a whopping 458% higher likelihood of engaging in financial deception and extramarital infidelity. Staying truthful to your partner is the foundation of trust needed to sustain a healthy relationship and flirting can potentially jeopardize it all. Let’s explore some ways it can cause damage to your relationships:
Emotional Distance
Engaging in intimate conversations or gestures with someone other than your partner creates a fertile ground for widening the emotional distance. When you flirt, you essentially allow yourself to have an outlet outside the relationship. As more time passes, the emotional distance between you and your partner grows wider, ultimately testing the relationship.
Resentment and Hurt
Flirting, even when done casually, might make your partner feel neglected. On top of that, publicly flirting can cause extra damage to your partner’s self-esteem and overall trust in the relationship. They may perceive your flirting as a complete disregard for their feelings. As they start questioning their sense of self and their position in your life, they can grow resentful.
Communication Breakdown
It’s natural to feel attached to people who seem to understand and pay attention to you. It’s how every relationship begins. But on the flip side, flirting with others can make our partners feel alienated and disrespected. As a result, they may withdraw from talking about their intimate thoughts and true feelings with us due to a lack of trust and fear of judgment.
Strained Intimacy
Being emotionally and physically intimate with anybody requires feeling safe and vulnerable around them. Flirting can threaten that sense of comfort and vulnerability. When you engage in flirting with people, your partner feels distrustful of you and disinclined to share intimate moments to protect themselves from getting hurt even further.
Distrust of Intentions
Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. Hence, it’s not hard to fathom why a person would feel distrustful towards their partner after seeing them repeatedly flirt with others. They may begin to question other aspects of our behavior, further sowing the seeds of suspicion and doubts in their mind.
Impact on Self-Esteem
Seeing their significant other showing interest in another person can make our partners feel betrayed. As the feeling of uncertainty grows paired with the communication breakdown, they may see themselves as less important in their relationships. This may give rise to negative emotions that spill over to other areas of their lives too.
Potential for Further Infidelity
Is flirting cheating in a relationship? It may start off seeming harmless and casual, but as it continues, you might feel attracted to that person. Your partner may spot this growth in emotional intimacy and feel convinced that you might take it a step further, jeopardizing your entire relationship.
When Is It OK to Flirt With Others While in a Relationship?
Flirting is not okay in general. However, like in any relationship, it depends on the dynamics of the two individuals involved. Open relationships go against convention and allow both partners to seek emotional and physical comfort outside the relationship. The people decide the rules of conduct and intimacy expected from each.
They discuss how to deal with insecurities and jealousy. They establish ground rules on what’s okay to seek in others and what stays in the relationship. By establishing common ground rules and expectations between each other, they keep themselves protected from the insecurities caused by flirting.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the answer to the question ‘Is flirting cheating’ is complicated. Innocent at first glance, flirting lays the foundation for future cases of infidelity, deception and insecurity. It undoubtedly causes great strain on relationships and makes our partners feel neglected. To enjoy a strong, lasting relationship, it’s best to refrain from flirting.